Happier by the roadside..

I'll be happy to see me,

When I go about a walk in the rain

Or a run in the Sun

Just when it's full of smog, 

On a stroll in the snow

Ohh my dreams, 

My dreams were always the same...

Moving my way from up North,

I couldn't stay there

Though I didn't have to go anywhere

But then I wasn't a flower mudbound

So I traveled afar West.

Pondering over the pain here to stay,

Irritation held me, hostage,

But the roadside set me free, any road,

The luxury to love them all and many,

And at times that knew no clock,

I was, liberating and without chaos.

I was, not, by nature, this dismal 

And so with love,

I' was happy to see me...

This day, that year..

In this air of separation, there's no song in my head, no light in my street, it's dark and it's cold, and the dogs have slept. It's different than how it was. An untuned guitar with and a long long walk, empty posters, and closed windows. But just before it's 12, someone tells me it's 31st, it's 31st and then you cross my head, and the entire journey to make it up to you. I look across my shirt to find some chalk, I look up at the sky to see some clouds, then to the empty parking lot right up to the tennis lawns. The shirt is clean, the sky is empty, there's no rain, there's no rain, it's 12 on a 31st and there's no you, there's no me either like there's no us. happy birthday.. allz well now..

What the city does not have..

What the city does not have, what the city has lost is the clamorous choir of birds, the wiseness in passivity and quietude. Backyards have become a thing of past and so has the joy of association. Free from the attachment of living, captivated by the trammels of materialism. Amidst all of this, I have unremembered the muddy street that I took to reach here, the one I once believed to make my feet dirty, whose gravel pierced me, made impressions for a lifetime and prepared me for today, the one which the city has lost.    

स्कॉलर न बनो।

स्कॉलर न बनो , इंसान बनो, अरे भाई कुछ ऐसा लिखो जो समझ में आये। वही बात ज़रा आसानी से केह दो।आहिस्ता आहिस्ता इन लफ़्ज़ों को भी घुल जाना है उसी ज़ुबां में जो मैं और तुम समझते हैं। लहजा तो आवाम का है, आवाम कहाँ स्कॉलर है। माना मुझे सीखने का शौक़ भी है, पर कहाँ ये सब याद रेहने वाला है। तुम तो कहीं से पढ़ कर या देख कर ये टेढ़े मेढ़े अलफ़ाज़ लिख देते हो, मुझे फिर गूगल करना पड़ जाता है। जो समझ में ना आये वही उर्दू है क्या? तुम्हे परवाह भी है की मैं समझ रहा हूँ या नहीं। शिकायत करता हूं तो केह देते हो कि खुद के लिए लिखा था तुमने। फिर जब खुद के लिए लिखा था तो मुझे पढ़ाया ही क्यूँ? क्यों केहते  हो कि "एक पके माटी के पात्र में दुग्ध जल मिश्रित शरकरा युक्त पर्वतीय बूटी प्रदान करो", इसका क्या मतलब है? कह दो "एक प्याली चाय दे दो।" लफ़्ज़ों से रॉब न खाओ, स्कॉलर न बनो।

हवायें जो ले चलती मुझे..

हवायें जो ले चलती मुझे तो चल भी देता, असीरी से भागता हूँ मैं। डर लगता है। कैसे, कब तक, और क्यों रहूँ किसी भी क़ैद में। जो कुछ मिल भी जायेगा तो क्या मिलेगा, उसका करूँगा भी तो क्या करूँगा, कितना वक़्त भी तो है जो गुज़र जायेगा। यूँ ही। इसी का डर है शायद कि गुज़र जायेगा, बस बेवज़ह। काश ऐसा होता कि मैं कुछ ऐसा कर सकता, कि ये हवायें जो हैं, ये ले चलती मुझे और मैं चल देता। 

अब तारे नहीं दिखते..

अब तारे नहीं दिखते। ये भी नहीं कि बारिश है, या ठण्ड का मौसम है और कोहरे की धुंध में आसमान सफ़ेद हो चला है। ऐसा भी नहीं कि ये सिर्फ मेरी ही आँखों का पर्दा है। कुछ और ही बात है, पहेली है, बस मैं हूँ जो उलझा है। सोचता हूँ कि सच ही थे या बचपन की कहानी थे मेरे, यहीं तो हुआ करते थे वो तारे, हर शाम को आया करते थे, ठेहरते भी थे रात भर।  ना जाने क्या सोच रहा था जो अब तक ख़याल नहीं किया, ना जाने क्यूँ पर अब तारे नहीं दिखते।   

Negative Probability

The first thing taught anywhere, in any class of the world about probabilities is that "probability is always positive." Never question this. Only this time at NIBM I felt like, "but why?" Why not negative? And then I questioned myself as to what could it mean to say something had a negative chance of happening? I believe that the possible explanation that struck me was an indication that I'd begun to think like a banker. It was the idea of negative money. Bankers are rich because of development of this very idea. Most of this money is not real, it exists only on paper. It may happen to probabilities as well.

Further research was gratifying. There were others who had thought along the same lines. They were physicists. Problems of physics brought physicists to the necessity to use not only classical probability but also negative probability. Negative probabilities emerged in physics in 1930s when Dirac(1930) and Heisenberg(1931) introduced probability distributions with negative values within the context of quantum theory. However, both physicists missed its significance and possibility to take negative values, using this distribution as an approximation to the full quantum description of a system such as the atom. Wigner(1932) came to the conclusion that quantum corrections often lead to negative probabilities while he was supplanting the wave function from Schrodinger's equation with a probability distribution in phase space. To do this, he introduced a function, which looked like a conventional probability distribution and has later been better known as the Wigner quasi-probability distribution because in contrast to conventional probability distributions, it took negative values, which could not be eliminated or made non-negative. Dirac(1942) not only supported Wigner’s approach but also introduced the physical concept of negative energy.

He wrote: “Negative energies and probabilities should not be considered as nonsense. They are well-defined concepts mathematically, like a negative of money."

Richard Feynman emphasised that even if the final answer of a calculation must be positive, negative numbers are often allowed to appear in the intermediate steps and this can happen with probabilities. 

Interpretations to Negative Probabilities